Spinal Operation

Monday 14th June was a day I never expected, the last I recall it was around 11am ish and I was doing some cleaning in the bedroom, next thing I know I wake up approx 2 hrs later in agony. I am alone in the house and the pain in my back is so intense I can only shuffle backwards. I somehow managed to get downstairs and call 999, I don't recall opening the door as I came downstairs but I must have as the paramdics came in and helped me.
Here's me thinking it was another collapsed lung due to the immense pain in my back but xrays that day rulked that out.
Tuesday after a CT scan it was discovered I'd crushed 2 vertebrae meaning I needed an operation on my spine. All this time I'm worried about my dog Jake and the horses but Brian is there to see to Jake and he contacted the yard owner to see to the the horses.
A week later on Monday 21st I had my operation, I was petrified as I'd been given the usual talk about possible risks and it scared the hell out of me. But I'm still here and the operation went well.

Now its Friday 16th July, every morning I wake in pain after a restless and painful night.. I get a little relief with painkillers and some days are worse than others. I am needing a walking stick to help get around as walking is painful. Hospital appointments are plentiful and so far I've had 2 with about another 6 to go to try and find out why I collapsed in the first place.

So how am I feeling? Lonely, lost, depressed, sad, yes I feel all those enotions, I miss my dad, my son Jamie and some members of my family, being 240 miles away from them all is no help.

So how do I get through each day.. Jake that's how... having had an operation himself he is my saviour.. He comes and curls up next to me, sometimes he plays rough sometimes he just wants to cuddle in...